notyournutritionalbreakfast:

So today during lunch someone had spilled their milk, and instead of cleaning it up, they turned it into a chicken.All hail the chocolate milk chicken.

notyournutritionalbreakfast:

So today during lunch someone had spilled their milk, and instead of cleaning it up, they turned it into a chicken.

All hail the chocolate milk chicken.

(Source: allpartofanutritiousbreakfast)

83,887 notes 

themetaisawesome:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

penis-hilton:

same

I’m convinced that all these posts were made by Draco Malfoy

Ditto

(Source: micdotcom)

262,770 notes 

fallontonight:

Jimmy and Mel B make a big realization about America’s Got Talent!

(cc: nbcagt)

386 notes 

fallontonight:

Little-known fact: Jimmy and Dwayne Johnson used to have pretty serious careers as fitness instructors.

[Part 1 / Part 2]

689 notes 

comedycentral:

An episode of a television program on which one of these #BadJeopardyCategories will be featured.

What is tonight’s new @midnight?

759 notes 

genderoftheday:

Today’s Gender of the day is: An Extremely low resolution picture of shrek

genderoftheday:

Today’s Gender of the day is: An Extremely low resolution picture of shrek

913 notes 

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

139,788 notes 

fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 22, 2014
[ Part 1 / Part 2 ]

fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 22, 2014

[ Part 1 / Part 2 ]

356 notes 

newyorker:

A cartoon by David Borchart. For more cartoons from this week’s issue, visit www.newyorker.com/humor.

newyorker:

A cartoon by David Borchart. For more cartoons from this week’s issue, visit www.newyorker.com/humor.

807 notes 

somedaysigetitright:

kingofbastille:

The amount of questions Bastille asks in their songs really stresses me out

are you gonna age with grace? do you like the person you’ve become? can you fill the silence? how am i gonna be an optimist? how am i gonna get myself home?

like idk dan you figure it out

113,848 notes